LeT FaTe deCidEd My Destiny!

Pain

2008-11-03T21:26:00.002+08:00

Out from hospital..11.30 till 5am waiting to see the doctor..Take money fast but service so slow..Let me waited in pain..Unlucky night for me..Sian..

My birthday

2008-10-13T23:10:00.001+08:00

Few more minutes to my birthday..14 Oct 08 seems normal and no one celebrate for me..Take care everyone..

Very Sian

2008-08-05T02:05:00.002+08:00

Today so tired after work..Today time pass so slow..My mind not concentrating on what i am doing..Thinking of things and chef come ask me"Are you ok"..He said i look sad today..Am i?Maybe i am just disappointed ba..Sometimes i ask god why my life is so tough..And the answer will be"You will went through everything so to guide others out to walk the correct path"..Then how about my happiness..I care for people and who the hell to come care for me..I love her so much and and i get back is nothing..Now i still care for someone and i just dont feel that she will have a space for me in heart..She is a happy girl as she is blessed to have a lots of friend around her..For me i have nothing..Others to her is much important than me..HAix..I really dont know what to do next..Someone please guide me through..I am tired of helping people liao..I am always the one to get shit..Damn..

ena

2008-07-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

Today clean the cooking area..Un screw everything and wash..I rushed home in order to msn 1 person..Lucky she is online still..Just found out that she is not ok yesterday but i thought that she wont want to talk to me..Knowing it make me feel sad..But there is another matter that make me feel worse..All i hope is her to be fine..For all the while i never said i like her but to me i dont believe in just saying words..You have to let the person feel it without telling her that you like her..If she can feel it means that u use heart and effort to make her happy or cheer her up..I am someone who are not good in talking and english so to me sweet talk is only my 3%..All have to use action to proof..Never thought that she will be the one i feel so close with and i can feel open to talk to her..I just hope she get to read my post and by understanding what i am going to pass her the message..Only from here she can understand my feeling and how i feel sad for her whenever she got into problems..To me there is alot of guys that is after her but i think one day she will understand de..

Sian

2008-07-29T02:50:00.004+08:00

Tonight went for drinking and get myself drunk..Talk to a close friend of all our unhappiness..Now still feeling dizzy but just a lot to write..Eveyone have different life and occur different problems..I have lots of problem and tonight i said it out..Being a chef is hard..We meet lots of people with weird character..Now i only wish to be with someone i love and settle down..My close bro encourage me and ask me not to walk back the wrong path..Girl i do not know that i like you so much..I do not know whether u like me a not..Please believe in me and trust me..I will be a truthful person and wont let you get hurt..I hope you will like me too..I just do not know how to express myself to you..I am thinking whether i fit to be your boyfriend a not..I am just lack of confident and hope you can pull me up and continue this journey together..Thank you bro for accompany me to chat..Still wondering the girl is who?Slowly guess ba..I hope she will know..Signing off already..Take care all my friends and bro..

Quiz ena ask me to do..

2008-07-25T00:46:00.004+08:00

1.The last person to tag you is...
Ena of cos..

2.Your relationship with him/her is...
To me she is special and lovely..Her present make me happy..Love her a lot..

3.Your first impression of him/her...
Someone kind and cute..

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you...
Be there for me..Tell me what to do and change my mind set..Thank a lot to that someone!

5.The most memorable thing he/she had said to you...
7/4/08-11.02.35pm-i will be worried
I will celebrate birthday with u!

6.If he/she become your lover,you will...
Treasure her and never leave her..I will be the most happier person in the world!

7.If he/she become your lover,he/she has to improve on will be...
Let me know whenever you are sad or emo so i can be there for you and lend you my shoulder to tears all
you need till you feel better..

8.If he/she become your enemy,you will...
End my life secretly

9.If he/she become your enemy,the reasons will be...
It wont happen,because i believe in her..

10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now..
Be with her and make her smile..

11.Your overall impression of him/her...
Someone special and important in life..

12.How you think people around you will feel about you...
Some hate me and some like me..Most importantly is i do the things i think is right..

13.The character you love of yourself are...
I concern a lot for others but not myself..

14.On the contrary,the character you hate of yourself are...
I always sad and emo because i am hurt in a relationship badly..I lose my confident..

15.The most ideal person you want to be is...
Myself..I take back my confident..

16.For the people that care and like you,say something to them...
To all brothers who encourage me and my school mate that is there with me..Thank a lot..Ena thank you..

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wished to know how they feel about you...
-Ena
-Dennis
-Juliana
-Frieda
-Banana
-Pinheng
-Guishan
-Amelia
-Mum
-Dad

18.Who is the no 6 having relationship with...
No one at the moment..But she do not know the person i like is who..As i can said..So near yet so far..No other girls..

19.Is no 9 a male or female...
Ena always smile and i hope she can stay strong..

20.If no7 and 10 are together,will it be a good thing?
Of cos it wont be a answer for this..It is the same person!

21.What is no 2 studying about?
Diploma in tourism and resort management

22.When was the last time you had a chat with no 3?
Minutes ago when she told me that she have this quiz for me..

23.What kind of music band does no 8 like?
For me to know for you to find out..

24.Does no 1 have any siblings?
I think no..I will ask her..

25.Will you woo no 3?
If she can accept me i am willing..

26.How about no 7?
Same as no 25

27.Is no 4 single?
Yes but i do not know she got fall in love with others a not..

28.What is the surname of no 5?
Ho

29.What's the hobbies of no 4?
Sleeping!And Shopping..

30.Does no 5 and 9 get along well?
Ok ah..Hope it become better and better..

31.Where is no 2 studying at?
Singapore poly..

32.Talk something casually about no 1...
U are always there and i am here..If you need me i will cross over to be by your side..Miss you forever..U will always be in my heart..

33.Have you tried developing feeling for no 8?
Already have feeling for her for long..

34.Where does no 9 live at?
Cementi

35.What colour does n0 4 like?
Not sure..Sometimes mood can let someone like different colour each day..

36.Are no 5 and 1 best friend?
No answer for this..

37.Does no 7 like no 2?
Same person how to like..Omg

38.How did you get to know no 2?
In friendster

39.Does no 1 have any pets?
I am not so sure..

40.Is no 7 the sexiest person in the world?
Yes!

I do not wish to let go

2008-07-24T00:55:00.002+08:00

Get back my internet at last..Get screw by the chef and few day things never go on smoothly..I miss all my friend and ena..Ena never reply my message for 2 days already..Hmm..Went around check update and friendster and email..For weeks my internet down and now alot of things to arrange..Now feeling emo because i think of something that i wish to have for very long..To give up or not to give up..I like her or dont like her..But everytime things that happened to her,it matter me a lot..I concern a lot and wish to be by her side..But i cant show her that i love her..Haix..I can feel that she is in love with 1 guy already..I cant explain my feeling now..Bitter and pain..Why cant things go smoothly..Now i am waiting and see my luck..Only 5% i can get her..She is moving further away..Hope she can know how i feel..God i just need 1 her and i will treasure it..Help me please..I am upset for days..I really do love her..Forgive me and give me a chance..

Love Less~

Busy

2008-07-10T00:28:00.002+08:00

Started my attachment..Sometimes working time is long and i learned a lot of new stuff..I just cant stop asking..1.Oyster Morney 2.Beef cheek 3.Caramelized apple 4.Green pea soup and more to learn..Missing all my friends and someone..Timing for this 3months 2 day is at harbour grill..A french chef and a funny one but strict..!0-3 and 6-11..In between time so sian..Went to shaw house that eat kfc today to make myself happy..The chef cute seh..Catch my friend hair never catch mine..My hair longer then my friend lucky me..Days and days to pass..So much to handle and still need to plan my driving lesson..Bored to hell..Then the someone i will always remember you in heart..Signing off now..Take care everyone..Meet up soon..

: (

2008-06-30T21:45:00.002+08:00

Going attachment soon..Maybe she is someone i found that i can talk to and share my problem with..But i can see that i have to go but i wont forget her..Her present to me will stay on..Maybe soon or later she will find someone capable to be with her..I ever thought that she may be my last choice but seems like it is all a dream..The happy moment is like going to end..I just hope that she is always happy and cheerful..No one bully her or anything..Knowing her i am very happy already..Have to let go is a real pain in heart..Maybe she never know how i feel..But i never fail to make her laugh..Since you came into my life i am laughing and happy..Now things are getting back to normal..If only you can be by my side forever and that is my last one..Every time i went to your blog and read..There is lots of guy concerned about you..I want to make things different..But i cant make you concentrate on me..Nice picture on blog as in your smile..Knowing that you are happy and have someone to accompany you..I feel happy for you..Anything you can still find me..As i promise that i will always make you laugh and be your listening ear..Take good care girl..

Leave me Alone

2008-06-28T02:41:00.002+08:00

I am not in the good mood..Love 1 is a sin to me..Leaving me is a punishment for me..What the hell the god want..Stop all bull shit..I have enough game already..I want the girl i like..Do not step in my way again..

Ena

2008-06-14T00:48:00.002+08:00

Get to know Ena and ever seems she get to chat with me i feel better..I have that kind of feeling like we know each other for very long..But she got a lot of guys wooing her okay..I wont even stand a place to win her heart..But she is a good person la..Happy talking to her..And she is back safety..Ever since the last one i kind of scare to start another one..Who to pull me in again..Have to wait and see..Ena miss u k..hahas..

I miss the past

2008-06-09T02:42:00.002+08:00

Thinking of the past again..No longer have chance to walk the path together..No longer hear your voice..No longer saw you..If only i can take back my words..But i think everything is too late..Now still trying to pull myself back from the darkness..No one to Question me anymore..Why always like this..No one know how pain is my heart..Once is her and now another one..Bad memories..Now you all so happy with your life..I think she also meet some guys already..Never mind..I should stop here..

Its Too late

2008-06-06T01:37:00.002+08:00

Last time we chat one phone and u share your problem with me..Now you have stead and leave me alone..Everything changes and i hate this days..Everyone close to me now all gone when they dont need me anymore..Sian..

Back

2008-06-01T00:46:00.002+08:00

Here to update..Just come home from my grandma house..See her leg hardly walk feel bad..She always treat me and my 2 cousin very good..Hope she can recover..Think of 1 person i know long ago..Just have to say it is a waste that they cant be together..Why let that guy stead with her..I know she wont love me so i want to help my cousin and keep pulling them together..In the end we both gain nothing..She is a good girl just hope she will take care of herself..Today also went for snooker with denise,pinheng and my cousin came to find me..Pinheng snooker and pool power la..I think i need train 1 more year then can play with him..My skill still very lousy..Wanting to buy PSP but still confuse where to buy..I think i make that Charmaine angry me liao..But actually i miss her and wish to talk to her de..I going attachment soon in 1 month time..Very busy liao..Hardly to see a big group together to play and drink and bbq..Do i still have the chance to have fun with all of them?Just hope the oncoming months or years will be smooth..Everyone will be back again..Happy and laughter..Wish everything start new and fresh..Haix..1 yr after i think army calling me to go in for sure..I will miss everyone i know de..No more love..No more snooker..No more game..No more time..Only Guns and training..So bored and frastrated..Fail 1 subject le..1 more difficult subject to take exam..I cant afford to fail..I am really stress out..Everything not really smooth for the past few months..

1.Hope heng and me can be like last time very close..
2.Hope i can find someone i love..
3.Hope my grandma health will be good..
4.Hope my career will be smooth..
5.Hope my family will be heathly..
6.Hope all my friend will be ok..
7.Hope my cousins wont turn bad and study hard..
8.Hope everything above will come truth..

Whats life

2008-04-28T01:31:00.002+08:00

So long never update..Everyday school and go car practice..Lots of project to do..Meet up with heng,xiao ivan and shan at je..Keep losing snooker and nowadays hardly gt time to meet up with them..Hope they understand..There have some argue with chao..Hope everthing will be fine after few weeks..I have fault also but also no need said me until so...Haix..Alot of thing to rush this month..Went for interview hope they call me back to interview 2nd time..

Maybe u think it is best to leave..Maybe u think that guy is worth much more then me..Maybe i just cant let it go..Maybe i have no time for u..Maybe i am not a good person to u..Maybe i cant give u everything u need..Maybe i am the one in wrong..So much maybe but it is not fair to me..I done my very best yet no return..Why everything process is like this..Day without u is so bored..Memories just keep flowing in my mind..I tried to keep it out of my mind but it return again..What should i do..U just throw me aside..U never think how much pressure i am under..Not everything i can said out within days..I go your own way and think u are right and never even care about my feeling..I have no choice but to accept it..It is very long ever we met the 1st time..When i saw the place we went before only pain in my heart..But u will never care anymore or maybe happily with another guy..This world is so unfair..I tried being a good stead but things just make me disappointed and sad..I am all alone now..I dont know what to say anymore..Haix..

My bro..Haix

2008-03-17T12:29:00.002+08:00

So long never blog le..Before go school come post..Just have a dream of pinheng..Wake up head very pain and heavy..Now still pain but at least can go school..Saw him,Ahyong and me at je..The day where we are smiling and friends again..Dunno whether this dream will come truth anot but just wait for it to come truth..I dont wish to be like joel and heng like tat..No meaning..So close once and end up walk their own path..Miss the time with the group of brothers and very long never saw them..Nowadays so sian..Used to jio heng go arcade and pool de..Now at home nothing to do..Haix..REally miss the time with him..CAnt sms or call him..Thinking how is him..A mistake i done that make me learned..Just hope we will be back as best brother again..Please believe and trust me again..It wasnt on heart to make that mistake..Hope the hate with me will be gone as time passes by..Take care everyone..As for yong i will try to help u find the thing u need..Dont worried..Take care everyone beside me..Hope to meet up with u all soon..

Drunk

2008-03-09T06:21:00.002+08:00

Just cant sleep and come online post..Minutes ago i am drunk and now after a bathe i am awake..Now still dizzy..After school went with my friends to "LIQUID"..!st time there..Then saw LAYHOON there..OMG..Chat with her a while then go drink..My friends are siao de..1 martel not enough go order 2nd 1..3 girls and 1 boy plus me..I keep helping them drink becos 1 drunk then gt 1 guy need send the 2 girls home..Drink and drink..Then play pool with the ppl there..Very pr0 seh..Lucky i left 2 ball only so still not paisei..4.30 then reach home..CAnt really sleep so help my mum prepare breakfast for my dad and make sandwich for my dad lunch..Nothing much just that so long very high liao..Hope that next time i can go drink with my group of friends..(Chao they all)..The bill is $500..Sian..So ex..Going broke liao..Gtg play CABAL liao..Take care my bro..Signing off here..

I am freak out

2008-02-29T19:37:00.003+08:00

This few day I went to meet up with Gui shan,boris,lim xuan,Wei Chao,Ah yong,Amelia,Bao Zhen,Mable,Xiao Ivan,Ah Ben,Gary and More..Then get to saw heng..Yesterday is KAM birthday..For weeks i hardly smile till yesterday i saw them..I feel happy but i know there is still things going on..I myself dont know what happened to me..I learned my lesson that i must listen clearly what others said next time and now i tried to talk less..But it seems that things are playing game with me..No matter what i do to try save this friendship,there is always things to spoil it..Things are like i said very early before..1 by 1 they will take them away from me..Why it is so unfair..I am trying to do my best but end up like that..They are my close bro and i never think of losing them till today i worried..It make me think..Is there other way out to solve everything..I am trying my best to explain to them..1 of my best bro have left me..Till today i still cant forgive myself..The feeling is bad and more things are coming to make me mad..Knowing things are great..Explore new things are even greater..But losing years of friendship is the most painful things in my life..Everything have their rule..What goes around comes around..I never know what they are doing now..Even if i ask chao wont tell me..Last time i am full of curious and keep asking for help and protection..Now things are different..When things related to my close bro i stress out..I only can blame myself..The time i never meet up with them i think a lot..The past i cant blame them of things..For now i just hope one day they can understand me..Hope that everyone can trust me and come back to me..Those thing want me lose things but i am not giving up..All i can said is that if there is anything i will update to everyone this time..I am sorry..Things might happened but maybe it isnt me or maybe there is someone much powerful behind this..Haix..

I know You are out there..The distant is very far but yet you are in my mind..I wish that u are mine and protect u but i know we cant be together..There is no hope for me..I close my eyes and dream of you..Even if it is only 1 day of memories is enough..I remember your smile..When i get to know that u are sad and moody,my heart is hurt too..How much i wish to see you everyday..It is really heart broken to be in this state..I dont know what to do next..:(

Sian

2008-02-21T20:25:00.002+08:00

For 2 weeks i morning shift..Tired like hell..The chef keep making me do thing..So many people dont ask keep finding me..Nowadays my heart very messy..I am like not myself..Today went to west-wood sec there..Then when i want go home no money take cab..At the moment a strange feeling keep making me walk walk and walk..In front is endless route..My mind dont let me stop walking..After a while i found myself at the big field last time chao bomb it..My eyes keep looking like there is something or someone wanting my attention..Sigh i continue walking and something is in my mind..I am to go home why i keep walking..Soon i reach the industry site near heng house..2nd question in my mind..Where am i here..What am i doing here..Am i out of my mind?I keeping staring inside..My head is aching..I continue and walk to somewhere i can see the enterance forest of heng house..I stay there very long by myself..Cant think of anything at that moment..very strange..Whats inside the forest..Keeping want me to go in but i manage to control my mind..Telling myself that i have enough for today..I have no much energy to continue..I decided to take a cab..Use my net to pay..REal broke this few days..REach home bath then shoulder pain..Now ok already..I am getting mad like that..But i know i can endure it..I have to..Wondering whats red and green ball flying together..What lai de..Things seem so weird this few month..So tired already..Time to rest..Any new discovery i will update again..May God Bless You!

Elaine

2008-02-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

Here to post..Yesterday went to changi airport..Meet up with someone..Talk to her..Hope she will stand up and change her thinking..She is someone cute..Pity for her..Why god so unfair to her..Haix..I was looking for the viewing plane place..Walk and walk in the end i found it..Believe in yourself and you can find it..1 year never contact her..But.....After that i watched the plane flew up the sky..My feeling very calm..This is my 2nd time there..Very rare for me to be there..When i am down i will be there..Memories of someone i love leave me..Haix..A peaceful place yet noisy and darkness to me..After that went home..On the train back i think and think till i fall asleep..I found myself back to the place..

This few days i never meet anyone..Locking myself at home and think..Mediate and sleep..Now i know what is everything all about..Maybe elaine words made me think also..No need to say much..All i have to say"There is still lots of things to change..I am not someone prefect..But i am someone that willing to change myself for the better..After listening to many friends,brother and my parents..I think its time i do something to myself.."There is many things in this world that is unexpected..When you want it to come it run away from u and when u are to give up it appear just infront of u..Now things are getting better..Hope one day my dream will come truth..

THE PLACE IS SO CALM..THAT IS WHERE I AM ALWAYS BEEN..NO ONE NO OTHERS ONLY JUST ME AND NATURE..HAIX..I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE SO CALM YET SO NOISY..

Lonely

2008-02-17T21:48:00.002+08:00

So long never post already..Miss lots of fun with him..Soon joining them back ba..Chinese new year everyone should be happy..Few days never meet up with them..Stay at home alone so bored..Like a stone..Parents not at home then leave me alone at home..Sianx..Tomorrow 7am must reach city hall there training again..Tired seh..Thinking when heng and me can talk le..Once everything solve..I can join them and have fun like last time..Hope the best to come and start all over again..Take care everyone..

I need time

2008-02-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

5 days never post already..Pass my chinese new year with my cousins and relative this years..I thought i can celebrate with Weichao they all but too bad..They go where i last minute then know so cant join them..So much thing happened..Knowing what i have done wrong..Feeling bad for it..Regret what i have done..I have no right to talk..This few days i never meet up with my brothers..I am thinking of everything and the past happiness..Will it soon be my last..I hope i have a chance to save everything..Mind give me time to change..I tried to ask less..I tried to give less comment..Now i want to pass my driving test..Solve my doubt and hope i am forgiven by heng..When i have problem i will share with him..He will listen to me and talk to me..When i need help he will be there..When i am bored he will be the first to meet me up..BUT NOW..I lose him..I never knew this will happened..Now i have no one to tell my problems..I lost the fun we have together..Today i know something..Actually there is people think that i am fan..Haix..There is too much to change..I will try my best..I am feeling real sad and disappointed with myself..Why everything end up like this..What i am doing..Who am i..I am sorry..Can everyone give me a chance..I wish to be a better person..

Why want be to drop my power..No one support me..It is tough..I am really out of idea..I have try to stop asking things..I tried not to create any things for them to stress and tried to solve things myself..Please understand me..I fail to be a good friend or brother..I left bad impression now..All i am is to bring back trust..Why everything are against me..What can i do..I know i am fan..I heard from a girl and she told me someone told her that..I dont know her well yet and her impression of me isnt good i think..I really dont know how..I am sorry everyone..I really feel bad..

I am no one..Maybe there is someone to protect u and love u better then i do..I know i cannot made it..I have to forget about the thought in my mind..I wont have a relationship de..I have no where to go..Buai..

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese new year to everyone..A new year and a new start..To me everything is past..Refresh and it is time to start all over again..Hope all bro are fine..I hereby wishes all a prosperous and joyful year ahead..Meet up with u all soon..

Leaving

2008-02-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

Here to blog..Never meet up with chao they all today..Feeling a bit weird..Yesterday also never post..Yesterday Sat went to school very blur and have headache..I still can smell the beer..1st feb i decided to talk to boris,lim xuan and heng..As for Chao and shan..Both understand me..I no need to talk much because they very stress already..2 person understand my problem already..Last one to go is heng but i know he wont get back to me so fast..

As i said..It is time for someone to leave..I will be away for the time being..I think it is best i leave first..I have said out all my things..Now is just the right time..Everyone could see heng to me on fri..I think i just no need to say much..

I make a mistake..I dont mean it..I tried to explain..I tried to give in..I tried to explain to all..I wan to help guishan and heng back de..Guishan i am sorry..I fail..My heart really wan to help u and heng back de but in the end i cause a big misunderstanding..At least now all neutral side are back..All are together again..Thats what i want to see..Chao i told u that night..6 is to 1..U carried heavy duty..Jiayou..I believe in you..Lim xuan you can do it de..I understand u now..I will remember what u told me..Boris thank for understanding me..Yong dont tired yourself too much..Can see that u are very hardworking..When we meet again i pass u the 5dollars..Heng i know what i said u will never understand me..To u i have done many wrong..I know i am in the wrong so i wont said anymore or give any reason to cover it..Gladys i think i cant play with beebee this few days liao..I miss beebee alot..Mable u ah..Cheer up ba..Never said there is no one..Anything dont keep in your heart for too long..It will only made u feel pain..I have tried the same way but in the end u are torturing yourself..BaoZhen stay happy k..Study hard is school..Next time anything happened then we talk 1 on1 again..Lucky u got absorb what everyone advise..Hope u and shan can together smoothly..Amelia sorry that i keep disturbing u with the photo thingy..I delete everything liao..Forgive me..

For time being i am not around..Brothers please take care..I will reflect on myself..Anything happened must update me k..Chaox wait for me..I just hope everyone to understand me..For all the problem and mistake i done..I am sorry..I never forgive myself..Take care all..Time to say good-bye..

2008-01-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

Meet up with Guishan and chao then Gla and ahyong come lately Boris and lim xuan reached..PLay with the beebee(Rabit)..Then a while we went home..Like about 6.45pm..Chao act hero la..Punch somemore la..Now hand like that happy liao la..But hope he faster recover la..Next time anything relax and think 1st..For me also yesterday like that,today tried to talk and soon things will settled..

Signing off here already..Take care Chao and all my brothers..

Last breath

2008-01-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

Same thing today..Went to meet chao then we talk about serious thingy..Then after that i whole day very quiet..No one even mind to talk to me..All talking about their topic..When have this and that..At last i stay calm and really think back..From the day i meet chao and the time we started everything..I am the odd one out now..Everyone seems having their own problem..No longer like last time where we care for each other..All go play pool then never even ask me..Take me as what..Yes la dislike dark side la..Today all talking then left me out..Take it all my fault la..I am thinking..Brother so long..Heng you sian or wat i come find u..Now a little thing brother said no more then no more..I know i have wrong but u think i really mean it..I will never want any of my brothers to die de..Lim xuan also la..Take what i post to make fun..Think funny ah..I know now all together i extra la..Just let u all know la..From start till now anyone got problem i always will help de..Just go and think what u all treat me now..No longer like last time already..My thinking all want to help but no one understand..I said something just take it as i talking rubbish..Ask something then said i scare la what la..

I dont know la..Just now i really very stress and tired liao..Pushing me to my limit already..What u all want said la..Just thing i got do anything to you all a not..Said want solve problem then i stay but in the end i get no answer back..U think i want like this..I DONT..I really cannot take it already..U all ask chao this and that he answer u all..I ask only sometimes answer sometimes no answer..

Now everyone have their own thing to stress..I here said then over..U all want dulan me or what i nothing to say..Wanna said out face to face de..But i know confirm no one listen de..U all just go think la..I know i nothing to u all la..Anything no need me liao..

Friends are friends..Brothers are brothers..Who good to u all or bad to u all..Use heart to see la..I no need said so much de..If u think i said just tell me..Take care all..

Tired day

2008-01-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

Reach the restaurant at 7am..Almost late..Everyday have to wake up at 5am lor..Sian..Then in kitchen under 2.30om then clean kitchen and then go down seatosa..Sound to have fun right?But too bad..I am not..Help teacher work..Then found out that seatosa having beach party..I think is the company SAP..My station damn busy..Indian vegetable food so much people like to eat..I top up so many times..Run on the beach here to there dont know how many times..The girls there wear angel wings so pretty lor..My friend keep saying..The those wearing crew shirt the also nice..But i never go see or care..Dont even have time to rest..9.30pm we start packing up..The band power de.."HIGH DEFINATION"..Their song really make the whole crowd dance..Good experience and tiring day for me..Now i know know outside and restaurant service is so different..Reach home at 12plus..Bath liao then now blog lor..Single seh..Earth have things i have to finish it..Stress..I dont know what is it..

Heng when will u be back..Really miss u..

I cant think of anything..I cant stop myself..I have to continue..The path i take i have no turning back..No matter what i will make sure everyone is safe..I should end here..Take care everyone..

Haix

2008-01-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

Went to city hall station at 6.35am..Walk to funan mall and reach the restaurant at 6.45am..The kitchen quite small..In the kitchen till 2.30..Pack up and wash the kitchen till 3plus then take mrt go back jurong east meet GuiShan,Layhoon and Baozhen..Then soon later more of them come..Slack Slack Talk talk..Today heard about something then even more stress..Haix..Talk to Nas and i am thinking of something..I no need to say out..Chao should know what i am thinking..Everyone safe can le..I have make up my mind..So many couple now..Too much things happened already..Time to make it to the end..Think of heng i feel sad..Think of nas i very stress..Think of family i very fan..Think of school things i very dulan..Think of relationship things i dont know what to say..

Fate have chosen the right person..God bless them all..The path is clear..There is no turning back..I have nothing much to worried..I am alone in my own world..No one understand..No one enters..Keeping quiet is all i can do..No one cares..Everyone have their own topic..I just have to just stop asking question i do things that i think is right..1 have to sacrifice and 1 have to go..All have to survive till the last battle..

No one really understand what is deep in my heart..So just dont think that i am not stress..I kept too much things already..Time comes everyone will know..All i have to say is everyone do take care of yourself..No matter what happened or how much time left we have just treasure it..Bye..:(

Congrat

2008-01-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

Today went to find Chao and Guishan they all..Meet liao never tell me..Went over and i am damn blur..I lost my way..Then GuiShan come find me..Pei them walk here and there..Then go plaza sing walk walk..BaoZhen and me go buy Sushi and eat..Damn hungry..They all go eat never wait for me..But never mind..I today eat alot lor..11 dollar lor..Then before tat brought 4 bread to eat..Confirm fat already..Then that Chao ah..Funny la..First see him no balls..We decided to take bus..We Drop at one place and take another bus..Then we waited for Chao and amelia la..Take damn long..

Congrats to the new born couple=>Chaox and Amelia..

Chao will take good care of her ba..Everyone support him..I told him that he will suceed still go count then said will get rejected..U believe u can u can..U dont believe in yourself u forever cant get your goal..Feel happy for them..Boonmin i understand what u mean already..Thank for talking to me..We miss alot of bus because of them 2..Then we take bus51..Have fun in the bus..See them sit together and hit each other..Half way i feeling not right..But they dont know..Losing control of myself but i manage to pull back..I am tearing for a while in the bus and i am in the darkness..Stress..Reach library bus stop and went to meet up Nas and Boris..Help Nas with his math Qn and then a while go home with XiaoLongMao..At home now..12.52 and i am feeling strange..I am shivering again..My head very pain..Time to stop here..REally have to rest..

Heng wish u will be back soon..Really want u back as my brother..I have been down after seeing u tears..Forgive me..I dont mean it..Sorry:(

I am Sorry

2008-01-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today meet up with heng at 1pm then we go arcade..Have our lunch at long john and went to K-Pool..After that GuiShan come..I am to pass message to heng but in the end..Haix..I should have told him guishan coming down but at that point i am confuse..After that heng went home..Guishan came and meet me and XiaoIvan..We went down long john then go over Duck rice coffee shop..I am talking to Shan about heng..Talk talk talk then walk back long john..I saw heng then he look at me..I thought nothing will happened but he very dulan with me..He know i told Guishan what he told me..Maybe i have said something wrong but i dont mean it..I also dont know which part i said wrongly..Heng SAid Brother till today and he walk off..I never want this to happened de.."Brother" so long said no more then no more..After that we went over to science centre when boris.lim xuan and WeiChao reached..I sat alone and think..I am sad that heng and me like tat..See his tears mine drop too..I am damn stress out..I wanted him to be ok in the end like that..Haix

PinHeng i am sorry..I am at fault not to inform u that GuiShan is coming down..I dont know how to tell u..Hope that we will meet up someday again..Maybe now u wont want to talk to me..I still treat u as my brother like i treated everyone in this group..Take care heng..I am REally sorry..:(

Slack at science centre and rest..Listen to song and talk talk..Gary.barney then come over..Reach 10.20 me and lim xuan went home..Lim xuan going home to change and go down meet them again..For now i just dont know how to explain to heng..I lose too much things..I cant lose my friends and brothers anymore..For the thing i done please forgive me..I let u guys down..:(

2008-01-26T11:06:00.001+08:00

Testing so that i can see "preview"

BaNanA^_^