Friday, February 29, 2008
7:37 PM
This few day I went to meet up with Gui shan,boris,lim xuan,Wei Chao,Ah yong,Amelia,Bao Zhen,Mable,Xiao Ivan,Ah Ben,Gary and More..Then get to saw heng..Yesterday is KAM birthday..For weeks i hardly smile till yesterday i saw them..I feel happy but i know there is still things going on..I myself dont know what happened to me..I learned my lesson that i must listen clearly what others said next time and now i tried to talk less..But it seems that things are playing game with me..No matter what i do to try save this friendship,there is always things to spoil it..Things are like i said very early before..1 by 1 they will take them away from me..Why it is so unfair..I am trying to do my best but end up like that..They are my close bro and i never think of losing them till today i worried..It make me think..Is there other way out to solve everything..I am trying my best to explain to them..1 of my best bro have left me..Till today i still cant forgive myself..The feeling is bad and more things are coming to make me mad..Knowing things are great..Explore new things are even greater..But losing years of friendship is the most painful things in my life..Everything have their rule..What goes around comes around..I never know what they are doing now..Even if i ask chao wont tell me..Last time i am full of curious and keep asking for help and protection..Now things are different..When things related to my close bro i stress out..I only can blame myself..The time i never meet up with them i think a lot..The past i cant blame them of things..For now i just hope one day they can understand me..Hope that everyone can trust me and come back to me..Those thing want me lose things but i am not giving up..All i can said is that if there is anything i will update to everyone this time..I am sorry..Things might happened but maybe it isnt me or maybe there is someone much powerful behind this..Haix..
I know You are out there..The distant is very far but yet you are in my mind..I wish that u are mine and protect u but i know we cant be together..There is no hope for me..I close my eyes and dream of you..Even if it is only 1 day of memories is enough..I remember your smile..When i get to know that u are sad and moody,my heart is hurt too..How much i wish to see you everyday..It is really heart broken to be in this state..I dont know what to do next..:(
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Thursday, February 21, 2008
8:25 PM
For 2 weeks i morning shift..Tired like hell..The chef keep making me do thing..So many people dont ask keep finding me..Nowadays my heart very messy..I am like not myself..Today went to west-wood sec there..Then when i want go home no money take cab..At the moment a strange feeling keep making me walk walk and walk..In front is endless route..My mind dont let me stop walking..After a while i found myself at the big field last time chao bomb it..My eyes keep looking like there is something or someone wanting my attention..Sigh i continue walking and something is in my mind..I am to go home why i keep walking..Soon i reach the industry site near heng house..2nd question in my mind..Where am i here..What am i doing here..Am i out of my mind?I keeping staring inside..My head is aching..I continue and walk to somewhere i can see the enterance forest of heng house..I stay there very long by myself..Cant think of anything at that moment..very strange..Whats inside the forest..Keeping want me to go in but i manage to control my mind..Telling myself that i have enough for today..I have no much energy to continue..I decided to take a cab..Use my net to pay..REal broke this few days..REach home bath then shoulder pain..Now ok already..I am getting mad like that..But i know i can endure it..I have to..Wondering whats red and green ball flying together..What lai de..Things seem so weird this few month..So tired already..Time to rest..Any new discovery i will update again..May God Bless You!
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
12:36 AM
Here to post..Yesterday went to changi airport..Meet up with someone..Talk to her..Hope she will stand up and change her thinking..She is someone cute..Pity for her..Why god so unfair to her..Haix..I was looking for the viewing plane place..Walk and walk in the end i found it..Believe in yourself and you can find it..1 year never contact her..But.....After that i watched the plane flew up the sky..My feeling very calm..This is my 2nd time there..Very rare for me to be there..When i am down i will be there..Memories of someone i love leave me..Haix..A peaceful place yet noisy and darkness to me..After that went home..On the train back i think and think till i fall asleep..I found myself back to the place..
This few days i never meet anyone..Locking myself at home and think..Mediate and sleep..Now i know what is everything all about..Maybe elaine words made me think also..No need to say much..All i have to say"There is still lots of things to change..I am not someone prefect..But i am someone that willing to change myself for the better..After listening to many friends,brother and my parents..I think its time i do something to myself.."There is many things in this world that is unexpected..When you want it to come it run away from u and when u are to give up it appear just infront of u..Now things are getting better..Hope one day my dream will come truth..
THE PLACE IS SO CALM..THAT IS WHERE I AM ALWAYS BEEN..NO ONE NO OTHERS ONLY JUST ME AND NATURE..HAIX..I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE SO CALM YET SO NOISY..
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Sunday, February 17, 2008
9:48 PM
So long never post already..Miss lots of fun with him..Soon joining them back ba..Chinese new year everyone should be happy..Few days never meet up with them..Stay at home alone so bored..Like a stone..Parents not at home then leave me alone at home..Sianx..Tomorrow 7am must reach city hall there training again..Tired seh..Thinking when heng and me can talk le..Once everything solve..I can join them and have fun like last time..Hope the best to come and start all over again..Take care everyone..
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
11:50 PM
5 days never post already..Pass my chinese new year with my cousins and relative this years..I thought i can celebrate with Weichao they all but too bad..They go where i last minute then know so cant join them..So much thing happened..Knowing what i have done wrong..Feeling bad for it..Regret what i have done..I have no right to talk..This few days i never meet up with my brothers..I am thinking of everything and the past happiness..Will it soon be my last..I hope i have a chance to save everything..Mind give me time to change..I tried to ask less..I tried to give less comment..Now i want to pass my driving test..Solve my doubt and hope i am forgiven by heng..When i have problem i will share with him..He will listen to me and talk to me..When i need help he will be there..When i am bored he will be the first to meet me up..BUT NOW..I lose him..I never knew this will happened..Now i have no one to tell my problems..I lost the fun we have together..Today i know something..Actually there is people think that i am fan..Haix..There is too much to change..I will try my best..I am feeling real sad and disappointed with myself..Why everything end up like this..What i am doing..Who am i..I am sorry..Can everyone give me a chance..I wish to be a better person..
Why want be to drop my power..No one support me..It is tough..I am really out of idea..I have try to stop asking things..I tried not to create any things for them to stress and tried to solve things myself..Please understand me..I fail to be a good friend or brother..I left bad impression now..All i am is to bring back trust..Why everything are against me..What can i do..I know i am fan..I heard from a girl and she told me someone told her that..I dont know her well yet and her impression of me isnt good i think..I really dont know how..I am sorry everyone..I really feel bad..
I am no one..Maybe there is someone to protect u and love u better then i do..I know i cannot made it..I have to forget about the thought in my mind..I wont have a relationship de..I have no where to go..Buai..
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
5:55 PM
Happy chinese new year to everyone..A new year and a new start..To me everything is past..Refresh and it is time to start all over again..Hope all bro are fine..I hereby wishes all a prosperous and joyful year ahead..Meet up with u all soon..
=Meep0k= (Hell)
Sunday, February 3, 2008
11:05 PM
Here to blog..Never meet up with chao they all today..Feeling a bit weird..Yesterday also never post..Yesterday Sat went to school very blur and have headache..I still can smell the beer..1st feb i decided to talk to boris,lim xuan and heng..As for Chao and shan..Both understand me..I no need to talk much because they very stress already..2 person understand my problem already..Last one to go is heng but i know he wont get back to me so fast..
As i said..It is time for someone to leave..I will be away for the time being..I think it is best i leave first..I have said out all my things..Now is just the right time..Everyone could see heng to me on fri..I think i just no need to say much..
I make a mistake..I dont mean it..I tried to explain..I tried to give in..I tried to explain to all..I wan to help guishan and heng back de..Guishan i am sorry..I fail..My heart really wan to help u and heng back de but in the end i cause a big misunderstanding..At least now all neutral side are back..All are together again..Thats what i want to see..Chao i told u that night..6 is to 1..U carried heavy duty..Jiayou..I believe in you..Lim xuan you can do it de..I understand u now..I will remember what u told me..Boris thank for understanding me..Yong dont tired yourself too much..Can see that u are very hardworking..When we meet again i pass u the 5dollars..Heng i know what i said u will never understand me..To u i have done many wrong..I know i am in the wrong so i wont said anymore or give any reason to cover it..Gladys i think i cant play with beebee this few days liao..I miss beebee alot..Mable u ah..Cheer up ba..Never said there is no one..Anything dont keep in your heart for too long..It will only made u feel pain..I have tried the same way but in the end u are torturing yourself..BaoZhen stay happy k..Study hard is school..Next time anything happened then we talk 1 on1 again..Lucky u got absorb what everyone advise..Hope u and shan can together smoothly..Amelia sorry that i keep disturbing u with the photo thingy..I delete everything liao..Forgive me..
For time being i am not around..Brothers please take care..I will reflect on myself..Anything happened must update me k..Chaox wait for me..I just hope everyone to understand me..For all the problem and mistake i done..I am sorry..I never forgive myself..Take care all..Time to say good-bye..
=Meep0k= (Hell)
